Did you think we'd fallen off the face of the earth? We have, sort of. One of us is in the process of adopting a baby girl, and one of us accepted a new call as rector. Life is slightly crazy right now for both of us because what has been will not be, and what will be is unknown.
We humans, though, aren't particularly good at living into the unknown. The disciples spend a huge amount of time asking Jesus questions that say things like, "Tell us how this is all going to work out." And Jesus launches into parables, which just leave everyone more confused and all gossipy when Jesus isn't listening.
We would rather see the end from the beginning, see how this is all going to work out before we say, "Yes," to God. What will being a rector look like? Will this beautiful baby girl ever get a tattoo? When will the economy start to improve (particularly the real estate market, where at least one of us has decided she will never be part of again - but that's mostly just stress talking)? How will the adoption go?
And God says, "Trust. Have faith."
Really? Really have faith when it all seems so, well, unknown? But that is faith. Faith is reckless and amazing. Faith reminds us that God does see the end from the beginning, all the twists and turns and exits off the main road and horrific and even lovely side trips we take. Faith allows our hands to open from the imaginary reigns of control and move forward. Faith gives us courage to step forward when we aren't sure the road is even there. Faith reminds us that with God, resurrection always, always follows death, because love will forever be the final word.
Richard Rohr says the opposite of faith is anxiety, because anxiety says we are responsible for everything. Faith reminds us that we aren't. God is, and God has a tendency to keep the plans on a need-to-know basis. Now, if I ran the world, the plans would be a bit more publicized. But I don't. We don't. And we are both getting huge lessons in how uncomfortable faith often feels. Trust us, the unknown is uncomfortable.
But it's also exciting and energizing. And for both of us, that's when we know we are in the gap with God - when our souls are filled with enthusiasm and discomfort. Too much of one and not enough of the other usually means a bit too much of our own egos have taken control. Not now, however. That holy balance has been struck. So we hope to see you on the journey in faith as we merry and slightly neurotic band of humanity walk, stumble, wander, and dance in faith. We'll have the ice cream and the little girl who better never get a tattoo.