What No Priest wants to hear on his or her sabbatical.

1.      Hey, I know this is your sabbatical and all, but …

2.      I am not sure I can fit into this spandex number for church, why am I suppose to wear this every Sunday? 

3.      You know the term “bat in the belfry”?  It’s not just figure of speech anymore.

4.      Nothing to worry about, it was a small fight, but I did tell the police that my name is Father Your Name.

5.      I think I can get those stains out of your rugs, but you know what?  You have lovely wood floors.

6.      Has your dog always chewed furniture like that?

7.      How much do you think a green, left side panel for a Porsche costs?

8.      Oh hi, I just thought I would call to chat.

9.      I love this new work schedule, but shouldn’t someone be here during the week?

10.  God can really take something bad and make it good.  Worshipping outside is really great!  I think you will grow to love it when you return.

11.  Some might look at this as a disaster, others might see opportunity.  I am seeing a capital campaign worth of opportunity.

12.  Do you know what might be flammable in your office?

13.  This hand puppet ministry is really taking off!

14.  I am really enjoying these Sundays without a sermon, but it’s a little odd not having any priests at church.

15.  Are acolytes supposed to be wearing cut offs, tank tops, and flip flops instead of albs?  This is the Episcopal Church, for heavens sake!

16.  When did we phase out the organ?  For that matter, when did we phase out the building?

17.  The Bishop has been coming around, and he is piping mad!

18.  Angelina and Brad came by about a wedding.  They wanted you to do it, but I told them you were on your sabbatical and to beat it!

19.  Which of the copes is your favorite?  Please not the white ones, please not the white ones.

20.  God bless homeowners insurance!  Where might your policy be?