What You Can Do Instead of Writing the Book

The first draft is due very, very soon. Mary and I are writing and wondering how an idea about a blog has become a book. We conceived the idea for Dirty Sexy Ministry at a New Year's Eve party in the French Quarter several years ago. Perhaps all the best ideas happen at parties in the French Quarter. We were looking out over a home where Tennessee Williams lived for some time while he was writing and drinking too much. Both apparently are easy to do in the Quarter. Somehow the conversation about the inspiration that comes from the French Quarter, New Year's Eve, the guy dressed in an evening gown at the party, and our own imagination led to the blog idea.

Writing a blog post is a nice, short term project. Writing a book is quite another event. First, we are both writing about how the church broke our hearts, so it's not all fun and wit, but often deep and hard work putting hurtful events and memories into a narrative. Secondly, writing is fairly solitary work, which easily allows one to find other things to do after getting one paragraph down.

So, when you read the book (tentatively to be published and on the shelves in November), this is what you won't find in the pages, but what did have to happen to get the words on the pages.

1. Pinterest. One of my Pinterest friends said she can tell when I'm writing on the book because there is a flurry of pinning on my account. She's exactly right. There are all sorts of wonderfully odd and beautiful things on Pinterest, and most of my Pinning friends have equally weird senses of humor, so I can take a much-needed laugh break.

2. Fashion Police. Listening to Joan Rivers and company dish about how rich celebrities dress (or seemingly can't dress) somehow produces energy to write about disappointment, grief, and hope. I wonder if she's ever thought about having a couple of priests to help her talk about fashion? We are available, Joan, just in case.

3. Staring out the window. I'm amazed at how, in the middle of a sentence, the grass growing on the lawn across the street becomes fascinating. Oh, and there are bunnies that hop around to add to the viewing pleasure.

4. Friends on the phone. Best way to get around writer's block? Call a friend and chat. Our very close ones will eventually ask us how the book is coming, and get us back to writing. If Mary and I call each other, it's all over for an hour or so as we catch up on the latest episode of Fashion Police.

5. Re-reading old blog posts. Our editor said we could include some of the older posts that fit with the narrative. Do you know what a pain reading what we wrote and realizing that the struggles from that time are still with us? Good grief. By the way, if you have a favorite post, let us know. Your input would help us.

6. Pinterest. Yes, did I mention that astonishingly wonderful time-waster?

7. Figuring out who will play us in the Dirty Sexy Ministry movie. We've never said we weren't slightly crazy. Kathryn Heigel and Tina Fey, by the way. Liam Neeson, Jason Statham, Jon Hamm, and Colin Firth will play our love interests.

What we all would really like to hear

I have compiled a list of phrases I would love to hear. I believe that many of us would love to hear them from time to time. So I hope this is what you would like to hear, and that you hear it from the voice you would like to hear it from!

1. Wow! You really look beautiful today. You should always not wear make-up. Did you really just wake up? Unbelieveable!

2. I am proud of you. I am proud of what you have accomplished in your life, but most importantly, I am proud of who you are as a person. I am proud you are in my life.

3. I like you.

4. I love you.

5. I love listening to you. I could listen to you read the phone book. You are interesting.

6. Have you lost more weight? Whatever trick you are using is really working.

7. You cooking is delicious, but what is even nicer is that you cooked something for me. Your cooking shows that you care about me.

8. I trust you because you have great instincts.

9. I would like to help you with that hard task that you are trying to accomplish, and you asked for help.

10. Thank you.

What would you like to hear?